How to Get Your ADHD Kid to Fall Asleep
It can be hard to calm your ADHD kid to not only get into bed, but stay there.
Kids with ADHD often have trouble with transitioning from one activity to another, especially when it involves slowing down and being quiet.
Bedtime can be a particularly difficult time, as settling the body for sleep can be a very difficult task for our kids.
In this article, we give you lots of ideas for how to get your ADHD kid to fall asleep with a short refresher on bedtime routines before we delve into troubleshooting some very common bedtime issues.
Routines are King
Routines are KEY to helping ADHD kids fall asleep and become independent at bedtime. If your child is having a hard time making a transition, whether it’s getting ready for school, or getting ready for bed, it can be super helpful to fit in a routine.
A routine at bedtime can be magic for your ADHD Child.
- Kids gain confidence because they know exactly what to do to meet the expectation.
- There will be less reminding and micro-managing by you.
- Your evenings will be calmer.
- The series of tasks in a routine help signal the body that it is time for rest.
- Your kids will have longer, and more restful sleep.
But, perhaps you already have a bit of a routine and are still struggling to get your kid a good night’s sleep. In this post, we will trouble shoot a few common bedtime issues most parents of ADHD kids encounter at some point.
Troubleshooting bedtime issues
Sometimes you may hit a few road blocks when getting kids to be receptive to a new bedtime routine. Here’s a few things to consider when the going gets tough.
Get your kids input about what they need at night.
It can be useful to ask your kids what makes it hard for them to go to bed or to settle to sleep.
Have a conversation when it is not bedtime and your child is not feeling the stress of trying to go to bed. When our kids are stressed, they go into “Fight or Flight” mode and the thinking part of their brain literally shuts down.
Make sure you are in a calm state, as well. You can start with a simple question: ” I notice it is hard for you when… I turn the lights off at night…start our routine,…etc.
Then just listen. Your kiddo may have some really great input about what is making bedtime difficult for them.
Use their input to tweak the Routine you have
Once your kiddo has expressed their needs around bedtime, do your best to work at least a few of them in. This is not about giving in to their every want, but being collaborators in coming up with a routine that works for everyone.
Perhaps they want to stay up later, but that is not okay with you. Maybe more independent reading time at night will make both of you happy.
Maybe one of your kids needs more connection time with you. Find a way to fit it in before or during the bedtime routine.
Showing your kids you are open to their suggestions will go a long way in helping them transition to bed.
Make sure you have some connection built in.
Having connection time built into your nightly routine helps you to be a calm force for them.
Spending a few minutes with you can help your kids settle and can be something you both look forward to.
Some great ideas for things you can do together to build connection before bedtime include:
- Set out the breakfast dishes
- Start to get lunches ready
- Read aloud to your child
- Do a short meditation together
- Have a calm chat about the day
Whatever you choose to do to connect, make sure it is something you both enjoy. This one part of your child’s bedtime routine can be the secret sauce that makes them work thru the other parts. Kid’s love to have our undivided attention.
Staying close keeps kids on track
Often, kids need us to be close at bedtime to help them thru their routine, at least at first – and possbily longer than you think. Proximity can help as your kiddos are starting their routine. You can be helping them go from step to step, with a kind, loving voice. You can be getting things ready for your routine, as well.
While you are helping them get thru their bedtime routine, you can be helpful to have kids see you modeling some of the steps of your bedtime routine.
Even if you go to be hours after they do, there are things you can do at the same time. Readying your lunch or work bag, tidying up the kitchen, or practicing your hygiene routine can all happen while your kids are going thru their routine.
And of course, the piece de resistance – when they have completed their routine and are ready for bed, you can do some cuddling, reading aloud, or meditating for some great 1 on 1 time.
Kids Can’t remember the steps of their routine?
Make remembering the steps of their bedtime routine easy for them!
Write the steps on a small wipe board they can carry around with them. Or laminate a sheet of paper and use a dry erase marker to write the steps. We have used this acrylic chart because kids can move the silver button when they complete each task – and the design is not too babyish for teens.
If your kids are very visual, pin up a few photos as a visual list of the different parts of the bedtime routine. Your kids can draw the steps out on a large sheet of paper or poster board, so they can follow their routine easily.
Or try this, “done for you” visual scheduler with 80 different images to chose from.
Make bedtime a family affair.
Getting the whole family on board at bedtime can make it easier for kids to follow. Older kids can help younger ones, you and your partner can each take a kid or a part of the routine.
Try adding some of these to your nightly routine:
- Turn the lights down throughout the house.
- Play some soft, comforting music throughout the house.
- Everyone heads upstairs together to complete parts of their individual routine.
- All phones get put on a centrally located charging station.
- Declare it family reading time and snuggle round for some read aloud or gather together to read independently, but in the same room.
What if my kids will not go to sleep!
I get it! I spent what felt like years sitting in (or just outside the door) of my kids’ bedrooms in order to get them to go to sleep. (until I got a weighted blanket!! )
Flip the switch in your head and think of it as quiet time for YOU.
As with so much of parenting, we often have to switch our lens and do a 180 with our thinking. If your kid needs to sit with them for a little bit, make the best of it. Truly, it won’t last for long.
You can put a few parameters around staying in their room – or just outside their room. Let your kids know you are happy to stay in the room as long as it is quiet.
Then you can spend the time doing something to rejuvenate YOU. Sit and meditate or listen to a podcast with headphones in their room or just outside the room. Read with a book light or do a brain dump in your journal.
I thought those times would never end. But, as I look back, it all ended rather quickly and it was such a nice quiet time to be close to them and give them a little comfort.
helpful Sleep tools
A Weighted blanket
Weighted blankets can be life savers to calm kids’ nervous systems and get them to fall asleep quickly. You have to try one to see if works magic for your kiddo. We love this very inexpensive weighted blanket.
Sound Machine
A sound machine can calm the senses and muffle other sounds which can be distracting to someone trying to fall asleep. They can be quite helpful for kids of ages.
Find one that has many different sounds, so your kids can pick their favorite. This one has lots of nature sounds (our favorite is the rain !) along with many typical, white noise sounds.
Magnesium in Many Forms
Magnesium can calm kids and it comes in many forms which can be helpful
- You can try a magnesium lotion, like this one or a magnesium oil, like this one. Both work wonders on kids of all ages. How nice and calming to have someone give you a bit of a massage before bed, too!
- IF your kids are big bath takers, magnesium flakes turn any bath into a relaxing routine. We love these magnesium flakes.
