Tips to help kids with ADHD during the holidays
Holiday time can be very stressful for kids with ADHD and their families. The break from routine, dealing with so many unknowns and the anticipation of so many events, not to mention the additional load on their sensory system can turn a normally joyful time into a nightmare.
Here at Fuzzymama, we know all about helping ADHD kids thru the holidays. Our first hand experience has allowed us to compile this post filled with lots of ways you can help kids with ADHD during the holidays.
Take heart, the holidays CAN be a time to enjoy family, friends and all the simple joys of the holiday season.
Help for ADHD kids Before the holidays
There are lots of things you can do before the arrival of the holidays to help your ADHD kiddo prepare for an enjoy the season.
Take cues from the past
Take a moment to sit and think about last year’s holiday season. What worked? What was easy? What did your kids enjoy? Plan to do more of what was easy!
It can be just as important to think about what didn’t work – and try not to repeat it.
Lower your expectations
It is easy to build up the holidays in your head. We all want a lovely time and lots of memories. You envision the perfect, cocoa sipping scenarios, visiting a tree lighting ceremony, hanging out with friends and family.
And that’s a great thing to do! But you will have a much easier time if you lower your expectations and expect the holidays to be filled with ups and downs. Cocao will be spilled or refused, kids might be whining about the cold or refuse to go to family outings.
Enjoy what you can and always have a back up plan
Make some plans
It’s best to plan ahead – especially if there are a few things you or your kids really want to do. Lines get long, events sell out. Pick a few things that you really want to do…either by yourself or with kids and put them on the calendar early. Buy the tickets as soon as they go on sale.
I love a big wipe-off family calendar. Write your plans up early, so kids have time to process and prepare for them, too. If your kids do not like to be surprised, let them know far in advance of your plans for the family.
Plan some things alone!
There is nothing wrong with making some plans by yourself or with your friends – without your family! Go on a shopping trip and out to lunch with your friends. You won’t even have to worry about your kid’s anxiety or behavior because they won’t even be there.
keep a routine
Because there can be so many unknowns during the holiday season. It is so beneficial for you to keep as much of your regular routine as possible. This includes regular bedtimes, waking times, and activities you normally do on the weeknights or weekend.
The more of your regular routine you can keep the more settled and calm your kids will be. When there is a holiday event, they’ll feel comfort in the fact that they’ll go right back to the regular bedtime and the regular everything else the following day.
Stay consistent with food and sleep
Keeping kids healthy and firing on all cylinders is so important. Argulably more than their neurotypical friends, ADHD kids need good sleep and great nutrition during the holidays! This may take some planning, but totally worth it.
It’s okay if you have to leave a gathering a bit early so your kids get a good night’s sleep. Feeli free to have a healthy snack before heading out to a cookie party. Taking care of those bodies and brains will make it easier for our ADHD kids to control their impulses and behavior.
make new routines or traditions.
The holidays are a great time to make a few new traditions that will bring you as much comfort as your regular routines. Sprinkle in a few things that have brought your family joy in the past – and keep them!
Whether you have an advent calendar that you do daily or certain events that you always attend, Repeating certain things every year, makes for great holiday tradtions and ones that the kids come to expect and look forward to.
consider lessening the anticipation
Sometimes the anticipation of groups or events or surprises is just too much for our kids. My son was constantly worried about the gifts he was going to get or if we were going to like the gifts that we were getting so we started a new tradition of going shopping together as a family to pick out gifts for each other. We still wrap them and we put them under the tree but at least knowing what some of his gifts are going to be greatly reduces his stress.
It might be easier if your kids are in charge of secrets or surprises for other people. Plan for your kids to be Santa Claus or a secret elf someone else and let them plan a few surprises. Perhaps they will become desensitized to the anxiety around surprises when they are treating someone else and know the outcome is good!
Preview events with your kids
Very often it’s the unknown aspect of events that ramp up kids anxiety. You can erase a lot of the unknown if you spend a bit of time before you go previewing it with your kids. Go through as much of what you know will be happening, explaining who will be there, when you will leave,etc. Give them as many details as possible, so kids will know what to expect. This will greatly lessened any anxieties around these events
Help for ADHD Kids Right Thru the holidays
Take the focus off Your Child
Do what you can to take the focus off your child and their anxieties. While I am not suggesting ignoaring their concerns it can help immensely if you put the focus onto other people and events.
Take time to plan for those who are less fortunate and in great need. Shop for a family in need, take supplies to a community food bank. The idea is to have plenty of other things to think about and put the focus on someone else – all while doing something great! You just may start a few new traditions.
let kids have choices
So much of the holiday planning is left to the adults. Very often the kids feel like they have very few choices in the matter. Allowing the kids some choices in creating plans for the holidays can really help them feel a sense of control and empowerment.
Make it a point to involve kids in the planning of events will make the events themselves, so much easier!
Sto forcing Your kids to do Everything
There’s often so many events and gatherings during the holidays that we force kids to do because we want them to see relatives they don’t see often or be involved in certain activities. This can create a lot of friction and resentment in the family.
Why not let your kids opt out of some of the activities. Let it be OK to hide in the basement or to be shy up in their bedrooms for a while. Your kids do not have to participate everything.
let family members have a heads up about their difficulties
It is perfectly OK to let family members now about your kids difficulties or sensitivities during the holidays. It can help out family members by letting them know what works with your kids how to treat your kids during these anxiety, provoking events.know
Well meaning relatives may take your kids’ behavior personally. But, you know better. So give them a bit of an explanation that feels right and respects your child’s feelings, too. Be clear on what they can do to help – and don’t be afraid to say, “No” to late parties or events you know are not right for your kid.
Help for ADHD Kids After the holidays
Take a Look Back and Reflect
When the holidays are over, you can look back on them with or without your child. Once the season is over, they may be able to tell you about their upset and the cause behind it – or not. But you can surely have hindsight and see what worked and what you may want to change for next year.
hey might be able to expressed some of their feelings about some thing that happens so you can plan better for next year they may have some more perspective and realize that things are not as bad or scary as they were
Redo an event
you may want to redo an event if there was a particularly bad event or difficult situation for your child you may want to try to redo that event now that they have gained some perspective, so invite those relatives back over, redo the cookie party that was upsetting
