I’ve written about our summer routine before, and while that post still is relevant and very much how I think about planning summer for my two tween boys, some things have changed.
My boys are getting older, they’ll turn 11 and 13(a teenager!!) this summer, their interests are changing and so is my parenting. I’ve learned a lot this year(with lots more to learn) about how best to parent their ADHD to bring more peace and connection to our days.
So here is how I am planning a summer for two tweens with ADHD.
A note about ADHD: I mention ADHD not to be exclusionary, but to hopefully resonate with other families struggling with raising challenging kids. As with all of my posts, I want other parents who are struggling to know they are not alone. However, my suggestions for summer will work for many types of families.
Planning summer should be collaborative.
Getting my kids input on their schedules, summer or not, is key. It makes sense that the older my kids get the more they need to have a say in how they spend their time.
This year we will sit down as a family to make our summer bucket list. We’ll talk about big, one-time events like visiting an amusement park, but also how our day to day schedule will run.
Then, we can plan our summer around the list. Usually these are the best moments for connection and the highlights of our summer.
Create a daily summer routine
It make sense to include some structure in a summer schedule for an adhd child. I find that even the slightest bit of structure can make a world of difference. Kids thrive on routine, no matter what time of year it is. Here’s what we do to add structure to our days:
- Our bedtime is still early( 8:00-ish), like during the school year. My kids get up at 6 a.m. no matter what time they go to bed. Sleep is vital for their ADHD brains, so we are early to bed and early to rise.
- Independent play time. We all need a break from each other in the summer – especially on the days we have nothing planned. I set our timer for 30 to 60 minutes and my kids entertain themselves in their rooms. They read or listen to music(no screens).
- My boys still have their daily and weekly chores. They get more opportunities to do extra chores for money in the summer, too.
- Mommy School (the name stuck when they were littles, but will have to change now that they are teens!)As a teacher, I know how real “Summer Slide” is. We practice math facts, write in a journal, listen to Story of the World, and read Life Of Fred Language Books. Generally this happens for about 20 to 30 minutes on the weekdays they do not have a camp.
- Screentime is limited. It’s easy for the empty hours of summer to get filled up with screens. My kids used to get about 30 minutes a day of screen time, but as they get older, this will have to be more flexible. I’m okay with using a phone for music or a relaxation app, but will keep the mindless videos and games to a minimum.
- We have a few traditions that happen weekly. My kids know what to expect, they look forward to it and it makes planning super easy. Taco Tuesday, Family Movie Friday, and Library on Sunday are three of our non-negotiables!
Maybe its just because I crave a routine, but summer runs smoother when we all can get into a daily groove . This is not to say that from time to time we don’t waiver – bedtimes are later for special outings, a family movie night adds to the screen time minutes, we may get asked to do something special and rush to make it happen, etc.
Keep a big family calendar
We love our calendar so much during the school year, it’s a no brainer to keep it up during the summer, as well.
Just like during the school year, our Sundays nights always are kept open for sometime to talk about the upcoming week. Each family member’s schedule is written on our big wipe board calendar for all to see. We go over it so there are no surprises for anyone. It’s a good way to mentally prepare for the week ahead.
There should be lots of downtime
I am not a cruise director, so I stock up on things that promote open-ended play and creative time. It’s good for kids to be bored and come up with their own plan. Encourage creative play by having just a few things on hand:
- Our yard has one section that is a big dirt pile. My kids spend lots of time digging and building forts, etc. Even at 11 and 13, they still love doing this! We have some pallets and pavers and they build all sort of structures.
- We have lots of art supplies. (Use that like to grab my huge list of supplies, if you haven’t already.) The supplies are readily available on a few shelves when inspiration strikes.
- Blocks, legos, Kapla Blocks, and Magna Tiles are available at all times.
- We visit the library weekly to make sure we have enough to read. My boys are voracious readers and can go thru 5 or 6 books a week.
Play to their strengths
We often overlook our ADHD kids’ strengths as we try to accommodate and “fix” their deficits. Without the stress of school, homework or a heavy sports schedule, its easier to spend time enhancing your kids’ super powers.
That might look like more trips to the library for a voracious reader. an art class for the doodler, lots of hikes for the nature lover or stocking up on wood scraps and nails for the builder.
Not quite sure what their strengths are? Ask them about the one thing they’d like to do this summer and go from there. Or take time to explore a few new things and see what excites them.
Work ( a little ) on their deficits
Summer is a great time to take a step back and work on something that your child has found challenging during the school year. I cover some of these things in ” Mommy school” which happens on a regular basis. (the key is regular so there is less whining about it.)
I try to make it fun, and light and not too forced. Although, inevitably, I miss the boat on that sometimes. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns when we work on the stuff that’s hard.
But, come August, I am so glad that I put up with the moans and groans. The transition to school is so much easier if we’ve kept on the basics.
Learn a new skill together.
We love taking online classes as a family. It’s a great way to model the use of a screen for something other than playing games or watching YouTube Videos.
This summer, my kids are taking Spanish from Muzzy, too. Their fun cartoon format makes language learning easy for preschool thru high school. I’m interested to sit in on the sessions and learn a bit of Spanish, myself.
I am really looking forward to this! The class will help my kids become more independent in the kitchen. We are taking the intermediate class where they’ll learn valuable skills like how to use a knife, how to brown meat and become independent while following a recipe!
Kids not interested in learning something new? The best way to get a kid interested is by sitting down yourself and delving into a class. Show excitement and they’ll want to join in!
Remember it’s all about connection.
I do feel like a big weight has been taken off my shoulders now that I have just a few things in place. By putting a little routine and rhythm into our days we are freed up to enjoy all those wonderful opportunities to connect with our kids.
After all, isn’t that what it’s all about?
I love comments! Please add any ideas that have worked for you.
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